Bouncing Off The Bottom?

The smile is entirely bluff (though I seem to be getting quite good at it).
I have not been doing well. I seem to have spent too long alone and now don't know how to obtain the companionship I need to make my life seem worthwhile.
It is nearly 20 years I have devoted myself to the Legalisation of Cannabis - until recently believing this would eventually lead to some kind of breakthrough whereby I would at least start to earn a living and have close friends with whom to work and socialise. In the last few weeks I have realised that neither of these is likely to happen. Now I see myself as a misguided loony who is terribly disappointed that he can no longer maintain the delusion he is working on something worthwhile. I'm scrabbling around, clutching at straws now. (As is probably obvious, I am unable to keep myself supplied with quality ganja, and am still not in a position to grow my own). What a pity it is that there is no God, (by any name), no real justice in this world. But hey, it was fun while the delusion lasted!